My New Place

Hey all you guys out there, sorry i haven't been able to post in a while but when we moved our internet got disconnected and it took two weeks to re-establish. And i must say there is absolutel nothing to do in this town and there are constantly people from the church over here to make sure we're ok and we have so many crappy brownies that i am going to be sick. I must say i am seriously looking forward to starting on the play. At least that will keep me distracted. And it has been really weird not talking to Josh. I haven't talked to him since school got out. I might call him soon i don't know. My brother is going to come over to visit soon and he'll be here for i believe 3 weeks which will be cool, or at least i hope it will. It has been so far a really crappy summer, i think i have depression or anger-management problems one, because it has been really hard to get along with anyone lately and i have just been incredibly lonely. I mean when a person smiles its depressing. And next week my cousin is going to be spending the weekend with us to get away from her drunk mother. And my mother is still always sick she tries to be the best she can by doing stuff with me but shes not a good actress and i can tell shes faking it. My dad has been the only stable thing lately but even he can only do so much. Since we've come here he has been pulling away more and more. Or maybe its the other way around? I dont know things are just soo screwed up i can't tell the difference. I know this all sounds totally corny but whatever. If it weren't for bands like KORN and Criss Angel i might scream. Because when i'm mad i just go in my room turn on there music as loud as it will possibly go and scream as long as i can take it. And when i am not screaming i am singing along with them. I can't wait to get out of this place. You would think living next to a church and having a dad as a pastor would be like living in Heaven but its more like a hell hole. I really like what Criss Angel says in his song Mindfreak, " There's no reality, just this world of illusion that keeps on taunting me." It makes a hell of a lot of sense. ANd on Criss Angel: Mindfreak season premiere what Criss did was amazing i wish i had the courage to do something like that. In case you didn't watch it he levitated over the Luxor Light in Las Vegas which is over 500 ft in the air and he dedicated the demonstration to his father. Well maybe one day i can do something to make my father proud but lets face it being a rockstar won't impress my father. Well enough of my depressing talk i think i filled you in enough for now. I'll keep you updated.

Hastalamalakum

-Phoenix